The Guru-shopping Guide

Aaaha. Now that you’ve decided to live a life with meaning, you’ve gotta find yourself a decent Guru.

Doesn’t sound all that hard. Or does it? Actually, to many superstitious Indians, there should be no issue here, because EVERY Indian knows what a Guru is...
According to your average Indian, a Guru is some kind of a guide, or a spiritual advisor or one of the quacks that appear on TV. Don’t get me wrong – there are true philanthropists who operate as Gurus, unfortunately, there’re also all manner of charlatans who do so – be it that freshly converted and zealous Pentecostal freak or the neighbouring Imam whose great-grandfather was converted at gunpoint.
There’re those that are obvious scammers, especially the catholic priests, imams and babas who’re on TV talking shit.

And then you have the supposedly-smart ones. The other day, on SBS, I saw an Islamic freak tell the world about how ‘Islamic’ scientists had contributed to ‘modern’ science. I guess some of us humans were created with a manufacturing defect – stupidity!!!!

This post is about what characteristics to look for in a Guru. To begin with, one needs to understand WHAT a Guru is... Ready?

For starters, get a piece of paper, and in BIG letters, spell Guru  G-U-R-U (No points for correct spelling – it’s not an English word)
Now, read that aloud LETTER by LETTER. That’s right, say each letter aloud and pause for a moment between each sound.

Unless your name is G W Bush it should read – “Gee, You Are You...!!”

And THAT, my friends, is what a Guru does. He or She enables your self-realisation. So now, WHO exactly is qualified to enable our Bhaarathic Moksha-switch?
No one. As a matter of fact, no one can teach you anything. YOU, and only YOU are the REAL Guru as well as the real Shishya. In Creation this form of your SELF i.e. YOU, is Lord Brahma – The Eternal Preceptor (his Shakthi being the very erstwhile Devi Saraswathi).

Then why do we have such a concept? What is the reality that ‘modern’ Indians have embraced that causes them to throng around a politician like Christians and Muslims do?

In English, Guru is known as the planet Jupiter. Does that ring a bell? Anyone who’s read up on Jupiter, or Guru, will tell you that this planet is characterised by its generosity and magnetism.

If Guru were a person, he would give a total stranger a generous and warm treatment (Guru, the planet, is masculine in nature – so feminists -please don’t start). This is pretty much what you’d expect of a Guru – unconditional acceptance and respect.
I’m sure a lot of experts may have varied opinions on this view of mine – but I’ll put it here anyway – there IS a difference between a Guru and an Acharya. The Acharya trains his/her wards in a discipline, a trade or a skill-set i.e. Vidhya such as archery, or battle, and so on. Acharyas themselves are accepted experts in their chosen trades e.g. Dronacharya.

The Guru, on the other hand, is more a facilitator for Thanthrik or higher learning. On occasion, Kalari experts are known as Guru-kk-ll in the parts of the Holy Land that harbor this ancient (and once, secret) art. This is because the Guru teaches his shishyas more than just the physical skills of Kalaripayatteh. The lessons are more about character, values and ethics, as opposed to the skills (which include Marma-Yogam – google that!).

I think the same person may be both a Guru and an Acharya simultaneously, depending on the discipline (many are cross-discipline experts) and the Shishya involved. When the teaching, and therefore the relationship, transcend from a sensory skills-transfer to a telepathic perspective-transfer.

But then, that’s just my opinion, and I should stop before I get rather long-winded.
What I’m saying, I guess, is that it’s important to be prudent and objective when giving putting another person on your personal-Guru pedestal. Such mental structures give other people a ‘back-door’ into one’s own psyche, and this is a situation to be avoided in the Kali-Yuga.

In the Kali-Yuga, many otherwise-nice people will turn a different shade when empowered with control over social sectors or individual people. It’s the nature of the times, and I would say it is preferable to perceive such failures as an omen of the times rather than the failure of Manushya as a creation.

It is necessary to understand that someone who may know more about you about a topic or a subject is not necessarily your Guru. At a higher level, you are your own Guru. You chart out your horoscope before you descend into the human condition per se. On occasion, your Karma may even require you to descend simultaneously into multiple bodies that are related to each other in their respective lives.

Conversely, another person’s Karma may enable him/her to be ‘more aware’ than others in certain respects. This is a Karmic blessing, and has been misused by many a person. Famous examples include M K Gandhi, Hitler, Mandela, R Nixon etc.
The prudent Jignyasu may find it useful to distinguish between a Guru and someone with better awareness or skill.

I’d love to hear your views on this – personal experiences, or conjectures – it doesn’t matter. Go on... put it up, folks. Let’s hear it!
Warmest regards